Sai and the Speedo
by Girl in My Mirror Is Crying
Summary: Konoha High gets a swim club and some really sexy transfer students, and Sai is a bit reluctant to join the swim team.
1. Chapter 1

Remember the first time your parents let you take a shit on the toilet after using your Barney potty training sit? Sai does. In fact, he still thought of it today, particularly the time in 1991 when his mom was playing a Wu-Tang Clan song in the background with thick smoke filling the room. She was smoking a bong and making deep-fried sushi. Sai loved thinking of the time he was on the changing table, looking at his mom's perm that she wasted half of her monthly salary on just so she could find a sugar daddy to afford her guilty pleasure of buying Fabergé eggs. By the time he was in 4th grade in the autumn of 1998, his mom had 43 eggs that costed at least $280. Some were close to $5000. Everyone thought Sai was rich, but the truth is his mom filed bankruptcy four times before hitting 35 years old since she bought so many damn Fabergé eggs.

When Sai was in 4th grade, he asked Mrs. Robinson for some money for lunch and she slapped him upside the head with a corn on the cob and claimed that Sai was a racist for believing that Al Sharpton was the reason why Gina Lollobrigida was no longer in popular movies. But now things have changed. Sai was 16 years old and was about to start his second year at high school. He was convinced that no one would beat him in a game of ping pong again, not while he still had an erection. Whenever Sai had an erection, he would often think of different balls and lose the game. Kinda like when Chingy was expected to win the Olympics in Oreo Dunking; it's a legitimate sport that involves being blind folded and a table has a cup of milk that is spinning like a centrifuge and the nigga's task is it to be abble to put your cookie in the cup within three seconds, and if you knocked it over, yo ass was eliminated.

It was the first day at class in Konoha. Sai was in the back of the class listening to Cocaine Business by Noreaga. He was hoping that one day, one day, illegal business would cause hysteria in Konoha and he could finally dream of getting a job at Pet Smart and finally...clean the fish tanks. Sai had a dream once where there was a lion fish in the saltwater section of the fish tanks and he was twerking next to them while wearing a kimono and holding a cigarette. He then dumped the cigarette into the water and the fish got out and slapped Sai's ponytail and flushed itself down the toilet. Good dream.

"Hey, you little fat gorilla monkey mouth bitches," said Kakashi as he took out his iPod and played the sound of a gong ringing. "We've got new students arriving today, and you know what that means. We gotta introduce ourselves or they will take even more of our funding away. They come from a place called Iwatobi, a town that has more interesting things than New York City, and that's saying a lot. I've been there. It's so fucking kinky, you little niggas."

"What are they doing here?" asked Shino with a sigh.

"For starters, you abomination to 80s fashion, raise your greasy hand before you speak, which I would probably not give you permission anyways because I think you're stupid. Secondly, they are here to start a swim club so you can be more active, you soon-to-be-obese tittydushes!"

"A swim club sounds so sexy!" said Ino as she clapped her boobs together. They made a sound similar to when you have diarrhea and it comes out all at once.

"Yeah, well, this is for boys, and not transgender ones, either," said Kakashi. He heard a knock on the door and he opened it and someone came in.

"Konichiwa, bitches!" said the voice. It was a guy with blonde hair and magenta eyes. He waved at everyone and said, "I'm Hazuki Nagisa and I'm from Iwatobi High School. I'm the treasurer of the swim club we had there and I specialize in the titty stroke!" Ino started laughing at this kid and Nagisa said, "Just kidding, it's the breaststroke." He stepped aside and someone else came in. It was a pretty tall guy with olive brown hair and cute green eyes. He had a sweet smile on his face and looked at the class.

"I'm Tachibana Makoto," said the next figure in a polite voice. "My specialty is backstroke and I was the captain back home. I love my boyfriend, Yamazaki Sousuke, much more than I love swim, and that is quite a lot! I'm hoping that you guys will be interested in enrolling in the swim club!"

Makoto moved to the side and a tall boy with dark brown hair appeared. He had beautiful teal eyes that looked tsundere like Sasuke, but he had a warm smile as he looked at his boyfriend Makoto. The dark brown haired boy sighed and said,

"I'm Yamazaki Sousuke. I'm from a high school in Tokyo, but I went to Iwatobi and I met my boyfriend and love of my life. I don't regret this decision at all."

Makoto gently nudged him and whispered, "Tell 'em what stroke you swim."

"Butterfly," said Sousuke. "Bitches."

Makoto just rolled his eyes. That Sousuke.

"So how many of you niggas are there?" asked Kakashi as he looked at the three of them.

"Five," said Makoto. "Here's the next member." It was a guy with dark navy hair and beautiful blue eyes but he, too, looked like he had taken lessons from Sasuke on how to be an emo.

"I'm Nanase Haruka. I swim only free." He moved over outta the way and the next guy came in. This guy had a pinkish red hair color and fierce eyes.

"I'm Shiina Asahi! I swim butterfly as well and I can't wait to race you little kiddies in the pool!" He closed his eyes and grinned at the others with pride, kinda like the way you took two hours to finish your calculus homework when it normally took five. Kakashi smiled behind his mask. They were so awesome and he wanted to fart just thinking about the piñatas they could make for Shizune's birthday.

"Okay! Anyways, you boys can take a seat on the other students' lap since I'll have to ask for some more chairs."

Haru went to sit on Ino's lap and she could feel herself getting wet from the sexy stud on her. Nagisa sat on Sakura and she farted as soon as he did that. Asahi went and sat on Shino, while Makoto got on Naruto's lap. Sousuke decided to get to the nearest person and it was Shikamaru. Shikamaru was gay and he started to get hard from the other guy on his lap and his erection protruded from his pants and poked the fabric of Sousuke's pants and underwear into his asshole.

"YOU'RE TOUCHING MY ASSHOLE WITH YOUR DICK!" screamed Sousuke with fury. A few people started to laugh at this, including Kakashi. No way. No way was Sousuke gonna let anyone touching his asshole. Only _he_ touched assholes and prostates, but the only one he wanted was Makoto's he got off Shikamaru and grabbed him by the pineapple hair and threw him out of the window and locked it.

Kakashi finished tittering like a little school girl and said, "Anyway, today's lecture is about the Relationship of Chinese Literature and Basketweaving. I think this course will make you want to get out and vote for the next election." Kakashi put his hand over his mouth and laughed. "You can't! You aren't old enough!" He fell onto the floor and started laughing on his stomach, clenching his hands into fists and started repeatedly pounding the floor with his two fists.

"What the fuck," murmured Sousuke as he looked at Haruka.

"Um...is this guy okay?" asked Asahi as he looked at Kakashi.

"Yeah, he does that about...twice a day," said Sai as he looked at the redhead. "Why are you starting a swim club?"

"More people need to like the water," said Haru in a sulky low voice. "Do you...like water?"

Sai thought for a minute and shrugged his shoulders. "I like water, but I enjoy painting more."

Haru's eyes sparkled when he heard this. "I like this guy."

"What's your name?" asked Nagisa as he elbow the guy on whom he was sitting in the face. The guy was knocked out cold and Nagisa said oops.

"Sai. You can call me Ten Sai."

"Arrogant, aren't you?" said Asahi. "Is that really your name?"

"It's Oyamada Sai," said Sai. "I may...see how this club is."

"Great! We'll discuss this later," said Makoto with a gentle smile on his face. "We will see what you got after school."

It was 2:41 and Sai was standing outside of the building, waiting for the club members. In about three minutes, the five boys show up and look at Sai. Makoto had his trademark sweet smile on his face and had his arm around Sousuke's waist while Sousuke had a small smile at Sai. Sousuke was so damn cute, holy shit. Haruka looked bored and Nagisa and Asahi were trading Pokemon cards with one another.

"Hey, why are you wearing that weird top?" asked Asahi as he pointed towards Sai's fruity crop-top. The other four looked at Asahi and then at Sai and the truth was...they were thinking the exact same thing. Why was this shinobi wearing something that showed more stomach than a woman who was 35 weeks pregnant with triplets?

"Because it matches my personality," said Sai with a short sigh of relief. "What are we going to do?"

"First, we'll need to get you a swimsuit," said Makoto as he nodded.

"I have some at home," said Sai.

"It's probably a pair of boardshorts and that is a no-no," said Nagisa. "We'll go take you shopping!"

"Please tell me we're going to Rue 21 or Spencer's," begged Sai as he looked at Nagisa's shoes. Man, this cat had shoes like you wouldn't believe! They smelled like rotten egg salad that Benicio del Toro made for his French cooking class in 1985. Couldn't this idiot get some damn Febreeze?

"No, we're going to Sports Zero!" corrected Asahi. "We'll try on swimsuits together!"

"Uh..." was all that Sai said before Nagisa grabbed Sai's hand they started running as fast as they could to the train station and they got on.

In about twenty minutes, they got there and immediately went to the swimsuits. Legskins, jammers, full-body suits, swim briefs—there was a lot of variety, no doubt about it.

"So, Sai, have you ever worn any competitive swimwear?" asked Makoto as he began to push Sousuke away gently as the other was trying to kiss him repeatedly. Makoto loved it, but it was a bit awkward in public and Sai was looking at them.

"Uh, no, I've never swum competitively in my entire life," he admitted with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Well, your body does look like it could withstand some heavy endurance," said Sousuke as he looked at Sai's body. This made the gay ninja scared because Sousuke was so large.

Asahi looked at Sai and said, "I know what you should try on. This!" he handed Sai a black speedo with a green stripe on it and Sai was wondering if it was appropriate to wear it. Apparently his crop top was a bit revealing, so now it was time to show off a bit of lower body. Okay, sounds fair.

He took the speedo and went into the changing room and put it on. It was surprisingly extremely comfortable and he enjoyed wearing it a lot. He started twerking in front of the mirror, but Asahi opened the curtain and Nagisa began recording it! Sai fell over on his ass, 92% naked as the guys looked at him.

"Sorry!" apologized Sai. "I was...dancing. Yeah."

"It's okay if you're gay," said Makoto. "Sousuke and I have no problem about it at all!"

"You really mean it?" asked Sai as he approached Makoto, getting a glance from Haruka.

"Yeah, I really do," said Makoto. "If you be a part of our time, Sai, we can be a family, so to speak."

Nagisa glomped Sai and put his hand on around Sai's shoulder. "Maybe you can paint us a picture of us since you like painting so much!"

"Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a good idea," said Sai. "I think I'll wear this speedo when we go swimming."

"Great! We'll get our swimsuits as well," said Asahi as the boys selected the kind of swimwear they would by. Sai had to shell out $25 for the swim briefs and they went to the local swimming club. All of the boys were stripped into their swimsuits as well. Sai was wearing said speedo he bought and Asahi was also wearing one as well, so at least it didn't make Sai feel as lonely. Nagisa and Haru where wearing jammers and Sousuke and Makoto were wearing legskins that went down to their crusty ankles. They all looked adorable.

"Sai-kun," said Makoto. "Why don't you show us how you dive into the water? We'll evaluate how well you do once you do that."

Sai was given a swim cap and goggles and stood on the starting block. He dove in and impacted the water like a fat person doing a cannon ball.

"What the hell?" said Sousuke. "That dive he did shouldn't have caused any splash!"

"Yeah, maybe the water doesn't like him," said Haru softly.

All the sudden, a gargantuan rumble was made under the water and a ton of bubbles came out from Sai.

"HOLY SHIT! HE FARTED IN THE POOL!" shouted Asahi as he began laughing. Nagisa began to join him as well and Makoto was stifling a laugh. Soon, a large rumble and a three foot geyser appeared over Sai.

"Da fuq?" said Sousuke as he watched this happen.

"Uhhh..." hesitated Makoto as he continued observing Sai. "His form is pretty good, it's just that..."

Sai finished his lap and came up to Makoto. "How did I do?"

Makoto gulped. He didn't even press start! Sai got out of the water and the others began to look at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked. But as soon as he finished his sentence, Sai let out a huge fart that made him fall forward and on the ground of the natatorium. Everyone was watching him and some kids said eww!


	2. Titties and Bikinis

Sai was lying on the ground with his ass pointing towards the sky. The other five buys looked at the fruity shinobi and then started to talk between themselves, mostly about ways that they could improve their swimming strokes while being occupied about what Oprah was gonna wear to the next MCR concert in West Virgina.

"So what happened?" asked Makoto as he looked at the others. He said those words in the sexiest of ways.

"He farted in the pool, that's what happened," said Asahi a bit bluntly. "I will admit...it sounded a bit sexy." Asahi was starting to get a boner in his speedo and sat down on the ghetto-looking swimming pool floor to conceal it.

"He contaminated the water and he will be punished," said Haru. "No one damages pool-chan and gets away with it."

"Knock it off, Nanase," said Sousuke as he sneered at the other. "So what if this nigga farted in the pool? At least he didn't drown." Sousuke had a really husky voice and said, "Plus, they put chlorine so the fart molecules will disappear."

Nagisa laughed and said, "Sai-chan farted in the pool!" He began doing the Macarina and ran around in the natatorium.

"Nigga, quit running!" said the lifeguard, causing Nagisa to stop.

Sai finally regained consciousness and said, "What happened? Did I do a good job in my swimming?"

"Well...you farted in the pool, then you farted when you got out and fell forward and passed out," said Makoto. "You had a beautiful dive but..."

"Your ass stinks," said Sousuke. "What kinda soup do you use? A clean ass is a good ass." He looked behind Makoto and licked his lips at that thick butt.

"Sousuke!" gasped Makoto as he blushed wildly as the other examined his buttcheeks. "We're in the middle of a public setting."

"So what should I do to improve myself?" asked Sai as he looked at Makoto the same way a Japanese girl would look at something written in simplified Chinese and would be like, "Nigga, this ain't Japanese!"

Asahi approached Sai after his boner died down and said, "Look, you need to realize that every once in a while, we have accidents. It's part of being human, and I must say, you entertained me quite a bit. Look, how about we just move on, guys? I'll teach you how to do the butterfly."

"I like butterflies," said Sai as he looked at Asahi with a smile that made you want to brush your teeth a bit more often. "It's like a moth that took a bath."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of," said Haru as he looked away and looked at his toes. He wiggled them and then he did a jumping jack and then turned to Makoto. "I think you should teach him how to do the backstroke. It's better that we have someone who's not a butterfly swimmer."

Sousuke looked over at Haru and said, "I agree with you, for once. We need more diversity. Babe, why don't you show him how you do your stroke?"

"Okay, since I got two people who agree with me," said Makoto as he smiled sweetly to Sai. "Okay, let's get back in the water, okay?" Makoto put on his goggles and his swim cap that looked like something a condom manufacturer made when they decided that Michael Eisner needed them for Mickey Mouse ears. It was honestly quite sexy when he was fully geared because a much more mysterious look and he was able to look at Sousuke's crotch a bit more discreetly; not that the tall nigga minded him sneaking peaks because he looked at Makoto's ass a lot.

Makoto jumped in the water and looked at Sai. "First, you need to get on your back."

Sai did as he did and his crotch was pointing towards the ceiling and someone came by and pointed out that Sai was wearing a speedo and giggled.

"Just ignore those haters because you have a nice body, Oyamada Sai!" said Asahi.

Sai looked at Asahi. He thought Asahi had a cute butt, but he had to come clean with something very imnportant, kinda like when you made a D on your report card but your parents thought you made straight C-'s.

"Everyone, I have a confession," said Sai.

"What is it?" said Nagisa as he stopped playing with his toes and looked at the fruity shinobi.

"Is something wrong, Oyamada-kun?" asked Makoto as he looked at Sai.

"My name is not Oyamada Sai," he sighed with relief now that he was gonna get this off his chest that had less hair than Stone Cold Steve Austin's head. "My name is actually Sai Petrillo. And I got the last name from my mom who is 1/64th Italian." He put his hands in front of his eyes and began to cry like Forest Gump when his ugly-ass hat got blown away by a Vietnamese person who blew their nose.

"Your name is Petrillo Sai?" asked Sousuke. "You're making it sound like a big deal."

"It is a big deal for me!" said Sai. "I've lied and been using the surname of my father. My entire life is a lie!"

The group all sighed in frustration. This nigga was overreacting.

"Okay, Petrillo-kun," said Makoto. "We're gonna have to save the sob stories for later and teach you how to to do the backstroke. Please lean back and allow your weight to fall on your back."

"If I must," said Sai as he leaned backwards. Oh, no! He had to fart again, and soon.

"Okay, now move your arms like this," said Makoto as he showed him the technique. Sai began to imitate Makoto and then Sai clenched his teeth really hard. He squeezed his skinny asscheeks together and let out a huge fart that caused a jet propulsion effect and sent Sai into the air about four feet! He did a belly flop when he landed and let out another fart that was so loud that it caused a two foot wave and got all the Iwatobi swimmers wet.

"What is wrong with you?" asked Sousuke as Sai let out five more farts.

"I've never farted like this in all my life!" answered Sai. "This has all happened ever since I put on this speedo!"


	3. Sai Still Can't Help his Farting Asshole

Asahi cocked his eyebrow as he looked at Sai and said, "I've been wearing a speedo since 1997, and I've never had a bad case of farts since I've put it on. But I have had bad farts at some time in my life," he trailed off as he looked around. This was starting to become a little too weird because a lot of people gathered around them with the same amount of interest in their eyes like the time Madonna was break dancing in 1984 while wearing nothing but a thong and she was able to do it somehow while she was jumping on a pogo stick.

Sai closed his eyes and farted again. The pale shinobi fag was about to turn pink with embarrassment because of his farts.

"I think I should take off this speedo," he said quietly as he reached down and pulled it down, showing his buttcrack to the other five boys. He let out a fart that was so powerful that it blasted Haruka into the wall of the building, leaving a huge outline of his body on the wall.

"Sorry," said Sai as he pulled it back up. Apparently his farts were way worse when his asscrack was exposed. Not that anyone wanted to see Sai's asscrack in the first place. It was probably the worst thing you could ever see, even worse than the time Sakura took a shit in the oven on Thanksgiving and the shit exploded and got all over the turkey.

"Look, I think this is all the kid can handle for today," said Sousuke. "Just go get your clothes back on and we'll try tomorrow."

"What did you eat, Sai-chan?!" asked Nagisa with curiosity as he hovered around Sai with clenched fists and excitement. He wanted to know what this nigga would say in response.

"I had some red bean-" he started before getting interrupted.

"That's why you farted!" exclaimed Nagisa with a please look on his face. "You farted because you ate red beans!"

"You didn't let me finish," said Sai. "Red beans have never once in my life made me fart, and I wish you would let me speak before you jumped to your own conclusions."

"Well, maybe tomorrow you can be cured of your farts," said Makoto. "I think today is enough for you, but I want you to watch us do our strokes. Okay, Nagisa. Show Sai-kun how to do the breast stroke."

"Watch this, ho," said Nagisa as he put on his swim cap and goggles. He dived in a pool that was so beautiful that you could've sworn that Whitney Houston was the one who sang lullabies to you when you were in the third grade when you had Ms. Warriner. Sai let out another fart and this one was so wet you could've sworn he diarrhea in his speedo. It was such a raunchy fart that a few kids started to point at Sai's asshole and he immediately turned around and farted on those little kids, scarring them for life. That will teach them not to mess with Sai Petrillo!

Sai watched as Nagisa finished his swimming and got to the edge of the pool.

"How the hell did I do?" asked Nagisa as he looked at Makoto.

"You did better than I expected, but you need to be a little bit more careful on your turns," confessed Makoto with a nervous laugh. "But yeah, yo bitch ass did okay."

Sai wished his iPod was nearby because he wanted to listen to some WTC and picture the time his mom's perm was so obvious. He released a juicy fart and those memories gave him excellent farts and he just loved his mother for that. There was a similar thing with Makoto's parents: Makoto just loved the way his mom made macaroni and cheese by not even boiling the pasta; she would literally just get some butter, cheese, milk, and the pasta and throw it into the oven. Literally. She just threw the ingredients in there but apparently she knew some sexy justsu that made it come out clean and in the pan. It confused the hell out of Ren and Ran, Makoto's twins who were both 9 and already had taken a course in calculus.

Sai was just too busy trying to get these farts out, but he was afraid that his speedo would be ruined forever. He liked the way the speedo felt on him, too; it felt like he was wearing a book sock that you use to cover your high school textbooks that you were required to by gun point or you were forced to make a replica of the Leaning Tower of Pisa using toothpicks that were used from the nearby deli. At least, that is what it was like when Anko taught Swahili Literature and had to read some of the weirdest passages from the book using sign language with each word you used.

Sai watched the rest of the boys show their strokes, and even though Sousuke and Asahi did the butterfly, their techniques differed quite a bit. For one, you could see a lot more of Sousuke's asscrack when he breached the surface of the water with each stroke, and Sai was curious as to what it would like like if the fabric of his legskins was removed. He bet Sousuke secretly had a hairy ass and that was the reason why he didn't wear a speedo. Sai naturally had a hairy ass that somehow didn't show, but he was glad, nonetheless. He farted again and it made the part over his asscrack puff out. Damn, was this shit kinky!

"Okay, everyone, I think it's time to go home," said Makoto. "Sai, take care of yourself and I hope that you truly think of joining the swim club."

"I will," said Sai as his fart sounded like, "good bye, niggas!" It was really unnatural in the way it sounded, but it was funny, nonetheless.


	4. The Next Day

Sai went home after putting his regular clothes back on and sighed when he got there. His mom was polishing some Fabergé eggs with some Windex and she belched as soon as she saw him come in.

"Damn, nigga, why are you so sad looking?" she asked as she approached her emo fruity son and kissed him on the cheek. "Tell me what's wrong, baby. And don't say nothing because I know that something is wrong."

Petrillo Sai sighed and then looked at his mom. He wished so badly that she could have a perm like she did in 1991, but she had boring straight hair that had as much character to it as Vanna White from Wheel of Fortune.

"I went and joined a swim team today," said Sai in a tone that was so flat that it made Sakura's breasts look like Mt. Everest in comparison. "Well, not really joined it. I was a trial member and..."

"What happened?" asked his mother as she looked at her son with astonishment in her eyes. "Please tell me that they didn't see your asscrack of all things."

"They did, but that's now why I'm embarrassed," said Sai softly.

"Why did you show them your asscrack, Sai?!" shrieked his mom in surprise, kinda like the time that Chyna the wrestler opened a box for her birthday and she saw that inside was nothing but a package of Scotch tape.

"I HAD TO FART, MOM!" shouted Sai in embarrassment and started to cry like a pathetic ninja that he was. "I put on a speedo and for some reason, as soon as I put it on, I felt really weird. They told me to get into the pool, so I did a sexy swan dive into the water, but as soon as I impacted the water, I farted and a geyser came out of my asshole!"

Sai's mom immediately began to laugh as she heard what her son said. She wiped away a tear and said, "That's a good one, baby. Why did you fart..." she couldn't help herself because she was laughing too much. "Why did you fart when you put your speedo on?"

"I don't know," he answered. "The other guy on my swim team was wearing a speedo and he didn't fart at all. Weird."

"So, do you like any of these new guys?" asked his mom as she nudged him playfully.

"Yeah, I like Makoto, the swim captain, but he's already taken. I kinda like this one guy named Asahi. He has dark pink hair, darker than that nigga Sakura, but he's a little rowdy. I think I will like being part of the swim team."

"Okay. I hope I get to meet one of these guys," said his mom as she kissed him on the forehead and then punched him straight in the face. Sai liked when his mom did that and he punched her in the face, too.

Shiina Asahi was at home, thinking about Sai. He thought Sai was really cute, but damn was he pale. Asahi was looking at a book about how to flirt with guys if you're gay and he was so wanting to talk to Sai. He liked a lot of the classmates, too, but he particularly liked Sai's weird self. He knew that the others would like him, too, because Haru loved painting. He was looking forward to class tomorrow.

The next day arrived and there were five new desks in the classroom. Sai arrived and of course he was not the first one there. First were Makoto and Sousuke who were sitting in the middle of the classroom in adjacent desks.

"Oh, hey, Petrillo-kun," greeted Makoto with a sweet smile. "We were just talking about you."

"I hope nothing negative," said Sai as she went to sit in the very back corner.

"Well, a bit about yesterday, but we were laughing a bit," confessed Sousuke. "I didn't know what to think about yesterday."

"Nor did I," said Sai. "I hope I didn't embarrass you two, though."

"It's okay, maybe this was a one time thing," suggested Makoto. "I'm glad that you are showing some interest in swimming because we need new members."

"I'll try to learn the backstroke," said Sai, "since two of you already swim butterfly. What do you think of this school?"

"It's so weird," admitted Makoto. "Why are your lockers neon pink and why do people say nigga so much?" Makoto felt a bit bad because he hated using that word.

"I know, I think Konoha is strange," agreed Sousuke. "But you seem fairly nice."

"You should talk to some of my other friends like Yamanaka Ino and Shikamaru," replied Sai. "I hope that-"

"Sai! Sai! Sai! Sai!" said an echoing voice. It was Asahi and he approached Sai. "I'm so glad that you're back! I hope we have a better day today!"

"So do I...uh...Shiina-kun," he said slightly.

"Just call me Asahi! I mean, come on! You can use my given name. After all, we were both wearing speedos yesterday!"

"That's true, I suppose," said Sai. "Okay, Asahi. What are you doing this afternoon after practice?"

"Just...going home, why?" asked Asahi. Asahi actually wanted to go home and try on a new thong he ordered from Amazon, but he wasn't going to tell that to anyone because it was a very secret hobby of his.

"I was wondering if you would like to go to my house one day..." said Sai.

Ho...ly...Shit. Asahi was crying inside! This nigga wanted him to go to his house! He didn't want to act like a stalker or anything, but it would be a lot better to visit Sai's house than vice versa because Asahi's dad usually sat in the living room naked while drinking a Sapporo beer while watching some shitty Korean Drama.

"Y-yeah! We can do that one day!" agreed Asahi with a silly grin. "I mean, I don't see why not tonight if my parents say yes."

"Okay," said Sai. "Would you-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" shouted Kakashi as he entered the classroom. He was talking to Anko and he threw his earring at her. "No! I will not pay you for your damn McFlurry you want after school!"

That dumbass Kakashi turned around and said, "I'm sorry. How rude of me, but I am not paying her for a McFlurry." McFlurry was code for washing the car while wearing nothing but a g-string. Kakashi wanted her to clean his 2003 Toyota Avalon while she wore a thong, but she wanted this nigga to pay her $100 and he was like...no.

"Okay, class. Today we are doing a lecture on economics." Kakashi told them a lot of weird shit and then, before they knew it, it was time for swim practice.


	5. Sai Has Even Worse Trouble

Sai went to the swimming pool and the background music for you niggas to listen to was "Girl in The Mirror" by Britney Spears. It was incredibly sexy and the soft music was just so inviting and made you want to go to the nearest vending machine and grab a beer and drink it. Then when you finished drinking it, you wanted to throw it out into a tornado and laugh as it was ripped to shreds more than Chouij's underwear after he farted super loudly after eating something from that Waffle House in Baton Rouge.

Sai saw that the five swimmers and smiled at them.

"Do you think it would be okay to allow a girl on the team?" he asked. He was gay, sure, but he owed a favor to Ino and he would try to see if she could join so that she could ogle over the boys.

"I don't have any reason why they wouldn't allow girls," said Makoto as he held onto a clipboard that had a cute killer whale sticker on it. "Did you have someone planned to join?"

"I did," said Sai. "Yamanaka Ino. She likes swimming and I have a feeling that she would enjoy being on the swim team."

"Cool, who cares?" said Sousuke as he scratched his nuts that were hidden by his legskins. Sai looked at the other and blushed and Asahi said,

"You know, it would be nice to have a girl here! Even though I'm gay, it would be nice to have more diversity! I believe in diversity!"

The others thought the pink-haired nigga was insane, but they weren't sexist, so there really was no reason that they would deny a girl. Even if they would ignore her because her body didn't match their sexual preferences.

"So she can join tomorrow!" said Makoto as he wrote something down. "Okay, Petrillo-kun, we are gonna try to do our swim strokes again this time. Maybe this time we will have a lot more luck."

"I hope so, too," said Sai as he went into the bathroom and changed into his speedo. He went back into the main swimming area and saw the others had changed as well, except this time, their swimsuits were a little different. Asahi and Nagisa were wearing the same thing as yesterday. Makoto was wearing jammers and Sousuke was wearing a speedo this time. Haru was wearing long legskins. It looked kinda weird, but Sousuke looked even more delicious, if that was even possible.

Sousuke said to Sai, "Look, I pretty much never wear briefs, but I decided that I was gonna show you that nothing happens when you get in the water. Watch." He snapped on his goggles and then put on his cap. It gave him a really mysterious look and it was so sexy.

He got on the starting block and he told Makoto to time him. When Makoto gave him the signal, he jumped off effortlessly and gracefully swam from one side to the other. He enjoyed everything about this and so did Sai. He got a good look at Sousuke's bubble butt when he was swimming and Sai gulped when it was about to be his turn. He decided that this time, he would give it his all.

"I have faith in you, Sai!" said Asahi as he nodded at the other. Sai was glad that he had someone who had so much confidence in him. It made him feel a lot better and he sighed as he was about to take off into the water. Sousuke got out of the water and said,

"Show us what you got." Sousuke's speedo bulge was really tiny this time. It was massive earlier, but he obviously experienced a lot of shrinkage. His penis looked like a vienna sausage was in his briefs and his balls looked like two raisins. It was like water was the anti-growth liquid!

Sai held onto the starting platform and then he dove off once Makoto provided the signal to do so. When Sai jumped off, he didn't fart, thankfully, but as soon as he landed in the water, it turned brown! Sai had diarrhea in the swimming pool! He swam to the side and he said,

"How did I d-" he stopped when he had the taste of diarrhea in his mouth and threw up in the swimming pool!

"Ewwwww," said everyone around as they watched the pool get contaminated with Sai's fecal matter. Sai had no idea that he took a shit in the pool and threw up in response to what he did. The guys were kicked out of the building and Sai apologized to the others. He was standing there in his speedo with diarrhea glued to his ass!

The guys were standing about ten feet away from him so that they couldn't smell it. Makoto said, "You know, let's get you a new swimsuit and see how you do tomorrow. I talked to the owner and he'll let us back one more time."

"Okay, that sounds good," said Sai bored as he started to walk home. Asahi said, "Oy, Sai. I was planning on coming over, but now that you have diarrhea, I think I will come by tomorrow! I still like you, though, so this doesn't change anything! I just figured you could shower and get something warm to drink to make you feel better!"

Sai smiled at the other and said, "I appreciate it a lot. I've been having a bad day today, if that wasn't obvious. I'll see you tomorrow at school!"

Sai walked fourteen blocks in his diarrhea speedo and finally got home. His mom said,

"HOLY FUCK, DID YOU STEP IN DOG SHIT AGAIN!" She pinched her nose and Sai said,

"No, I took a shit in my speedo. I had diarrhea."

"Well, go throw it away, nigga!" said his mom. Sai went outside and took off his speedo and threw it into the garbage can. Maybe now that he got rid of the speedo, he could actually swim better.


	6. Ino Joins

Sai was having probably the kinkiest drink you could ever imagine. He was having a dream in which he was running in a train through Austria and it kept going through tunnel after tunnel. In this dream, Sai was wearing his speedo and chasing him was a sweaty body builder wearing a dark blue thong and had a Subway sandwich in his hand and a copy of the Lord of the Rings trilogy held to his hip by the strap of his thong. When he finally reached Sai, he threw the sandwich and book at him and Sai was knocked out of the window, farting very loudly like a magician who used a fart to create a smokescreen and get away from the audience who booed like the time Estelle Getty was wearing nipple pasties only and was to ride on a unicycle across a pond filled with electric eels. She of course fell and she was electrocuted and she looked like Sophia in the first episode of the Golden Girls. Sai woke up and ran down stairs, farting really loudly as he made his way to the breakfast table.

Sai's mom appeared. She was wearing a thong and as leather jacket that was opened and barely covering her nipples. She had a cigarette in her mouth and an enchilada in her other hand and she dumped some of the ashes on Sai's head. She shook her head, her perm shaking and bouncing like the balls in a guy's speedo.

"Morning, diarrhea nigga," she said as she ate some of the enchilada. "I made your favorite breakfast: octopus and lotus root enchiladas."

"T-thanks, mom," said Sai as he ate some of it. "I hope that things do better in the swim practice today."

"Yeah, I hope so, too," said Sai's mom. "If not, I'll need to bring my video recorder and send it to YouTube." All of the sudden, the radio started playing "Girl in the Mirror" by Britney Spears. She started twerking to the music, balancing a cup of coffee on her ass as she danced to the song. It was so kinky. Sai just got up and saw that the bus was leaving without him.

"Mom, the bus is leaving!" screeched Sai as he made a _ face.

"Put on your roller skates and head to school!" she demanded. "I gotta wash my feet!" Sai got on his pink roller skates with the purple wheels and started to head to school. He had the song "Dishwasher Soap" playing as he was rolling along and within fifteen minutes, he got there, panting for about ten seconds before putting his skates in his locker. There he saw Asahi.

"Morning, Sai!" he said with energy as he looked at the other. Sai gave the other a small smile and said,

"Morning, Asahi-kun. I am going to get a new swimsuit today and I'm hoping that this time, I won't mess up."

"But yesterday was a bit funny!" laughed Asahi as he patted the other's shoulder. "It's okay! I once took a shit in the urinal in 2nd grade."

"Really?" said Sai as he tried to keep himself from laughing. He couldn't picture Asahi shitting in a urinal, but he took the other's word for it. Soon, Sousuke appeared and he said to Sai,

"Look, Sai, I'm starting to lose my patience with you. If you're gonna fuck up like you have the last few times, you can just quit the team and we'll find someone serious."

"You said that a girl could join the team so I'm inviting my friend Yamanaka Ino to join us." He went over to her and said, "Nigga, join the team. Please." He wanted to look at someone so that he couldn't get a boner and Ino was the perfect person to use for that.

"Okay!" said Ino as she smiled at the other. Class was pretty good today. They were taught stuff about how to properly take a shit and how to wash your hands after you move a dead ninja's body and all of this weird shit that would apparently be useful for future purposes, somehow?

Soon, it was time to go to the sports store and try some new swimsuits so that they could get Sai and Ino swimming again. Sakura went merely for the sake of watching her best friend and Ino found something really good to wear. She found a good swim thong and a bra and they were totally accepted by the Japanese Swimming Association. It was kinda weird, but Sai decided to put on a male swim thong, too. He wanted to match her, but then he realized that his asscheeks were a bit hairy, more like hairier than Austin Powers filthy man chest. So he decided to put on some Speedo Jammers like the kind Haru had on.

"How do I look?" asked Ino as she came out wearing her thong and bra. A line drawn by a kindergartner had more imagination than what she had on, and that was saying a lot. Sai came out in his jammers and Ino whistled like the time that Charlie Sheen saw the newest shipment of cocaine coming from Antarctica.

"Nice," said Ino. "I think we will both swim very well."

"Then let's go pay for these and get going!" said Sai as he went back and took them off and then went to the cashier and they both paid for their swimsuits. Soon, they arrived to the pool and it was time to show them what they had.


	7. The First Time Together

They arrived at the natatorium with more anticipation in their demeanor than the time that Chouji was going to get a discount at the bakery because he had accumulated enough food stamps to get a free jelly doughnut that had sprinkles that had subliminal messages about the fall of the Icelandic government.

All of the them went to the locker room but Ino had to go to the separate one, which was kinda weird because all of them were gay but she probably would've died from all the sexy naked masculinity. Sai put on his jammers and they hugged his small ass fairly well and he saw that the boys had put on the same swimsuits on the very first day of practice. Sai honestly couldn't believe when he thought about it that Ino was going to wear a swim thong and the very image actually wanted to make him laugh. He felt a lot better about wearing jammers since this would mean he would have to shave less of his nasty hairy legs.

All six of the boys and then Ino met out in the open area and there was Ino, wearing a thong. It was just so unlike her...not! It totally captivated and complemented the stupid slutty side of her and they all gave her a thumbs up in response to her new swim outfit.

"I honestly can't believe that they even make competitive swimwear like that," said Sousuke with a small growl as he turned away and slightly face palmed himself.

"Relax, Sousuke," said Makoto as he approached the other and whispered into his ear. "There are now seven of us, so be nice to the little lady, even if she looks a little silly in what she has on."

"Okay, I will," said Sousuke as they shared a kiss. Ino's heart started to skip a lot faster when she saw this and wanted to cry because it was so beautiful!

"Okay, important question!" said the dark pink-haired male who was wearing a speedo that was even smaller than the one he had on yesterday and the day before. "Do either of you need to use the bathroom before getting in the pool so we don't have another accident?"

"Nope!" said Sai and Ino as they shook their heads. "We're all good!"

"Okay, what strokes do you want to tackle today?" said Makoto in his usual soft voice as he looked at both of them.

"I'm going to try the breast stroke," said Ino.

"Then I'm the one to talk to!" chirped Nagisa as he looked at the other. "The breast stroke is often considered one of the easiest strokes to learn, but it is ironically considered the hardest one to master!"

Ino felt slightly intimidated at first, but she was still very much eager to give it a go. "Okay, let's do this!" she said as she put her hair into a bun and put on her swimcap and then the goggles.

"And what about you, Petrillo-kun?" said Makoto as he looked at the other with a small smile on his face.

"I think I'm going to try the backstroke," answered Sai as he nodded at him. "I hope I do significantly better than the last time I was here."

"I believe that you will," said Makoto as he put on his goggles and cap. "The very first thing you need to know is your buoyancy. I want you to lie on your back like this," instructed Makoto as he lay on his back with his stomach and upper body facing the ceiling.

Sai followed suit and he floated on his back and he looked up at the ceiling which seriously needed to be washed considering that it looked like it was made in the 1950s.

"Good, you're doing a good job already!" said Makoto as he clapped his hands a bit slowly but he had a very cheerful smile on his face as he did so.

"Okay, Ino-chan," said Nagisa as he showed her what to do, some sort of special technique that was a bit difficult to describe. "I want you to do what I just did. Do you think you can do that?"

"I will definitely try," said Ino, lying on her stomach and her thong-covered asscheeks pale as ever as they were exposed to the air and leaving a very uneasy feeling for a lot of people nearby. Ino did what Nagisa showed her and she did it with a lot of good skill!

"Wow, I'm very impressed for a first timer!" said Nagisa as he cheered for Ino. Ino was so glad and she said to Makoto,

"I did it! I did my first step to become a swimmer!"

The team mom side of Makoto was supper happy and he gave her the sweetest smile in response to her statement. It felt like things were going to be okay after all.


End file.
